I feel so overwhelmed by life right now like I just want to run away from it all. My new found dad doesn't want anything to do with me, my husband keeps coming up with more ideas then I can keep up with and it scares me, I feel bored with life and unmotivated to do anything, people irritate me by assuming things and they do things that hurt me and they don't even know it! I just want to run away for a few days so I can get a completely new perspective on life. I miss grandma and I am tired of everyone dying. I just want to scream. I feel like everything has been falling around me all at once and I don't know what to do with it. I feel stuck and like no one could possibly understand. I feel bad for feeling bad because everybody elses lives seem so much worse then mine. That is it. Okay maybe not but for now.

Found out yesterday that a baby was stillborn yesterday she was 31 weeks and the cord was wrapped around her neck. The cord it is supposed to give life, but so often it brings death. I don't understand how God can allow things like this to happen. I hate death. I hate when people who are close to me die or have someone else die that is close to them. I don't understand. I want to understand that all of the ways of the Lord are gracious and compassionate. This baby girl would have been the 1st baby born to this young couple, a couple who were excited to have her. She would have been the 5th grandchild born to grandparents who will now never know what it would feel like to hold her. Jesus please bring your comfort to this family and help us understand.

I have nothing profound to say, but HELLO Blogger world! I have been tossing back and forth the idea about starting to blog again for a while. Simply because facebook doesn't give me enough space to share what is on my heart. I am not sure if anyone will read this and that is okay with me. I hope if people do read this they won't judge me, but will give support and I will do the same with them. In ALL things God is good and I am glad for that. Well, that is it for now.