Tuesday, November 4, 2008

A Week From Today

Sorry I haven't posted much on here. My main blog is xanga.com/thesmelloflavender and that is where I post most of my pictures of my family and blog.
Well, we are moving a week from today. We will be out of the house on Monday and staying in a hotel in Palm Springs that night after we pick up my grandparents. I am feeling a little better about the move and I think I am trusting God in this.
I voted this morning and I guess you could say bitter against all of the people who voted for Obama. Even so I am going to trust God in all of this. I guess they only voted for him, because it is what God wanted. I am going to trust Him and Him only.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Saturday, September 20, 2008


I haven't put this on my other blog, but my little family of three is moving to PA. I have mixed feelings about this move. I can get excited, but mostly I am nervous and scared. Mainly we are moving because PA is beautiful and second because hopefully Shawn can get steady work. Also, my family is there. Got to love my family. I just don't want to leave here. There were so many firsts here and I worked so hard to get friends. Now we have to start all over again. I hate change. It scares me.
Also, when Shawn and I have an argument or he is driving me crazy I can just pick up the phone and call my friends or talk to them in person, but it will be different even if I can still pick up the phone and call them. They just won't be down the road or a few cities away. Or when Shawn isn't consistant at least I can count on them to understand because they know him. People in PA won't know him. Not even my family. Or when I am struggling with my insecurity they will be there, but people in PA really won't. I don't even think my family will.
The bright side will be that we won't have to celebrate holidays alone. That has been the hardest part about living in CA.

In other news Elizabeth is going to be 13 weeks on Tuesday. On her last doctors appt. She was 12 lbs 4 oz and 23 1/4 in long. She did great with her first set of shots. She is a total blessing from God and I am glad that she is my daughter.

Thursday, September 11, 2008


I messed up today for the first time since the beginning of June. I was doing great and now I am not sure how I am doing. I did realize something though God does forgive me, but Satan doesn't want me to realize that. He wants to keep me under his power and I have been. I have opened doors to him that should have been kept closed.

Life has been so confusing lately. Shawns work has been slow. We are moving back to PA in November. Now keep in mind I have been pushing this, but at the same time I am scared.

Why can't I just be the submissive wife that keeps her mouth closed and let her husband lead? Because he doesn't have a good track record leading and I am scared to. I don't trust him. Father, this is the man you have put at the head of this household help me to submit to him and trust him as the leader of the family. Help me to step out of the way.